Starting with a summary, there are a few severe deficiencies here. I will elaborate from top to bottom.
Egotism is something very rare with synthetics mostly because it has the potential to be seen as belittling human characters, which doing so explicitly is likely to be seen as instigating conflict, a forbidden behavior. Why would the USCM want a synthetic that’s going to undermine the confidence of its personnel, rather than support them?
That ties into the attitudes toward ranks. In CM, synthetics sort of have no rank, though in lore they are warrant officers. Regardless, they are subject matter experts and not commanders, and their “command rank” equivalent is that of a civilian, literally the last person even lower than an E1 private.
Unfortunately we don’t actually see your character and personality in your story attempt because it is so very short. Usually we want 2-4 pages that’s primarily focused on the character, personality and actions of the synthetic being proposed. It’s meant to be a long form example/explanation of how the character is going to be acting in an organic environment similar to what you might expect in a round.
Your combat answer is also far short of demonstrating understanding, synthetics are bound by much more complicated combat rules than “non-human = kill”, reference Synthetic Programming and Guidelines or ask in discord as this gets into being a somewhat complicated explanation.