A chimps guide to assigning blame!

General Acid Goop
1

So you lose the round and now you have to salt in Dchat. Let me help you find who to blame!

  1. Did everyone follow orders? Its CICs fault!
  2. Did everyone not follow orders? Its CIC fault!
  3. Did FOB get hit with OB? Its CIC fault!
  4. Did supplies never get sent? Its CIC fault!
  5. Did the frontline get OB? Its CIC fault!
  6. Did only one supply drop happen? If req is awake its their fault other wise Its CIC fault!
  7. Did everyone unga bongo right into a hellchoke, while command beg for you not to? well that’s just a skill issue!
  8. Did the unga ball fall apart? again skill issue!
  9. Did the stim start to OD every one? Labs fault! after all ungas are well know for being mindful to not OD themselves!
  10. Did CAS gib the front line? clearly its that random marine using signaling flares as lights!

I do hope this should guide aids you in correctly shift…ahem…identifying the problem! happy hunting lads!

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2

Why is this not on the guides section?

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3

The first half of this issue-identification guide:

I cannot wait for the xeno issue identification guide….

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4

Real simple if your xeno

marines had stims → marinedevs
marines nuked → cadehuggers
failed at hijack → metavac’ing marines
i misjudged my health → i was clearly bodyblocked
i flanked alone → hive wasnt listening to me

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5

Don’t forget “marines rescue dead bodies → shit meta tactic”

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6

Always blame the MPs

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7

So true i can’t believe i forgot about the prime xeno agents.

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8

“If the instructions and words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if commands are clear and the soldiers disobey, then it is the fault of the officers.”"

~ Sun Tzu

(thus CIC and SLs are always to blame every game)

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9

Xenocord going to assassinate you for speaking truth to power.

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10

Memes aside, has anyone else noticed that number 10 has been happening way more often lately?

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11

im taking it kinda seriously even if its in acid goop

The only time its CICs fault is that if they dont report any enemy positions every 10-20 seconds, not sending OB instantly because muh CIC RP, or not sending crates when they are ready.

Other than that its marine fault

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real xenocordians approve of this message.

source: im a real xenocordian

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13

Fake news, here’s a real chimp’s guide to assigning blame:

OOOK! Haugh, ooo aah haugh. Eeek! Hoo… ha augh! Haough.

OOOah! Oooau aaauoo! OOuuah ee! Eee aauooo! Hoooauu! Hauuoo. Eee aoooo eee oooak!

Hooo auuu!

  • Eeee oooa oooah. Hoooaaa eeeoooah. Eee haaaoo!
  • Hooo aaaa eeen. Eeouuuugh aa ooohaok Hoooak Hoo ho.
  • HOO HOO HAAAUUUH HAAAUH HOO HAUH HOO!

Source: I have 100% Ancestors, a Humankind Odyssey as of today.

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14

I got you.

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15

So you lose the round and now you have to salt in Dchat. Let me help you find who to blame!

  1. Did everyone follow orders? Its the marines fault!
  2. Did everyone not follow orders? Its the marine fault!
  3. DId FOB get hit with OB? Its still somehow marine fault (shouldn’t have built the FOB where my OB was gonna go)!
  4. Did supplies never get sent? Its marine fault (should have said what supplies they wanted)!
  5. Did the frontline get OB? Its marine fault!
  6. Did only one supply drop happen? Its marine fault!
  7. Did everyone unga bongo right into a hellchoke, while command beg for you not to? well that’s just bad tactics!
  8. Did the unga ball fall apart? again bad tactics!
  9. Did the stim start to OD everyone one? Marines fault! after all researchers are well know for being mindful to label the OD level!
  10. Did CAS gib the front line? Its MPs fault (didn’t arrest the GP immediately at roundstart)!

I do hope this should guide aids you in correctly ident…ahem…shifting the problem! pray to any god you can find lads!

2 Likes
16

CIC’s fault is so true but everyones sleeping on Queen’s fault.

Think about it. The Queen is the one person the xenos need to survive. Picking on them specifically is easy!

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17

People play Xeno? I thought they were AI.

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