Ceyella - Permanent Ban Appeal
What’s your BYOND key?
Ceyella
Character Name?
N/A
Type of Ban?
Permanent Ban
What is your Bancode?
Admin who banned you?
I believe ThesoldierLLJK - shows as X.
Total Ban Duration
Permanent
Remaining Duration
Permananet
What other servers do you play on?
Bay
Are you now or have you been banned on any servers? Which ones?
Paradise, Auora, Bee, I’ve been away from SS13 for a few years so could be more I forgot.
Do you play using a Virtual Machine?
No
is your copy of Windows legitimate?
Yes
Reason for Ban:
Banned for 43200 minutes | Shot multiple players at roundstart yelling about wanting to quit CM, then reported themselves via staff help. 30d ban for obvious griefing applied, filing for perma.
By x (Administrator) on 2021-10-12 04:59:12
Links to previous appeals:
N/A
Your appeal:
A old friend I kept up with talked me to trying PVE-CM. But they neglected to mention the servers were linked. I legitimately thought it was a different/offshoot server (like TG-CM) and put zero effort into hiding who I am, and have been ban evading PvP. After learning their linked, and playing PVP I have noticed the server is so different I turned myself in, and am appealing my original ban.
I would like to provide a bit of background as its been several years since I got permabanned. This is not me trying to justify anything, just explain.
The culture of CM and my social interactions was extremely rocky. I am sure I have notes to the moon. I had situations like Acutecircle leaking me the metacord had doxxed me and taken personal images of myself to make anti-LGBT memes. There was so much more but this is mostly the key thing I can remember really setting stuff off. Just to give you guys some insight into how much people utterly despise me, and likely still do. People would find me in game to grief me, and I them in return. Other players had no respect for me, and I for them. People would spam N, R, and etc words. It was a mess, transphobia was insanely high, and I didnt help it any attacking people for it. You can likely find my old quitting message on the forums where tons of people came to misgender me, and generally make a point of attacking me and singing praise as to how i was finally gone while a few staff and others tried to be slightly positive. I know I am unwelcome here, and I know this appeal is likely to be denied. I don’t expect any explanation for it, nor do I expect to be welcomed back. I’m trying for my friend, and because I like PvE.
What I did wrong, and How did wrong is something I have thought about in general, I reacted to things poorly. I should have just quit. Not kept raging out. I was distraught by staff having no reaction to it. It was acutecircle telling me personally and saying they were pushing for it be solved and it wasn’t. I felt at the time, if that was permissible, then there was no going back. It was stupid. I always had a choice of how to handle things.
The ban appeal asks for me to explain how it was wrong, and it was that choice. I was choosing to be a terrible person, and justifying it by others' behavior. I was acting, and putting into the word the very thing I was so upset about. If I PB buckshot someone it was because, in my mind, they had it coming. That's what was so wrong, and it was why I would keep getting notes. I didn't care. I was making a choice, and it took me years to realize we always have a choice. I could have chosen to be a good person and respond kindly, or remove myself from the situation instead of pushing it along.
We all have a choice, we can choose how we react to things, and the things going on around us. I chose to be childish, lash out, grief and generally be a nuisance in some strange attempt to fight back. It was stupid. This is just a game, and it was just internet trolls. I shouldn't have let them get to me, and I was acting on emotion. I can choose to be better. I will make the choice to log off, quit, or avoid trouble. I chose when fed up to grief out instead of just quitting and leaving. I thought I had something to prove to people who would never care. I can choose to be better.
When I came back to try PvE I used a new ckey to avoid my reputation, and not get attacked by people IC who saw it was me. After a few weeks I realized things were pretty chill and joined the discord, and since i thought it was a offshoot thought it be fine. Then I started ban evading PvP because I figured if I came back and tried to play it straight it wouldn’t be noticed. I 100% admit I have been ban evading. (Ckey JackoMelp). I figured I would goof off/screw around and not care or put effort into it.
I regret ban evading on PVP., especially now that I’ve seen how much has changed to be more like PvE. Like the little pride flags on the engineering flag pick, can you guys imagine how that would have gone in 2019? No one is screaming slurs anymore and it seems way more chill and nicer. I didn’t care to appeal at first because I assumed nothing had changed, people used to despise me, and I expected the same treatment. I figured I’d just goof around. I genuinely believed the servers were separate and used the same ckey for both. But coming back to CM I can see now that it’s different, and I regret not taking it seriously from the start. I don’t want to keep ban evading, it’s not how things used to be, and I want to try to take it seriously now, even if I know ban evasion is almost never appealable.
I know its the shittiest ban appeal ever to admit to LRP evading because you think the server is transphobic trolls, then realize your wrong and turn yourself in. After a few XO rounds it was really nice to have fourkahn say i was a good XO who made it fun and stuff, and being SL with people who behave was nice, and it just isnt what it used to be. I’m going to try and play it straight or not at all.