Colonial Marines Story Thread

Enlighten the community with your funniest, stupidest and most heart wrenching stories!


Me and about 5 other people all joined as maintenance crew and built a ‘doomsday prep’ store in the metal foam area in hangar. It was quite expansive and had immense amounts of rebreathers, oxygen tanks, ammo, guns, radiation suits, food and tons of other ‘prepper’ equipment. Eventually multiple marines and the CL squandered their money and spent it on equipment that was already free but being sold to them anyways and we accumulated hundreds of thousands of dollars. About 2 hours into the round, an Alpha marine C4ed the backside of the shop and robbed the money from the store, however the MPs took a liking to the project and eventually detained the Alpha marine for theft and DTGP. When the CO found out, the store was condemned for distracting the operations and being ‘unauthorized.’ About 20-25 marines and the entire maintenance crew were given the OK to mutiny the CO for condemning the store, but due to my charismatic nature, I was able to just talk it through before bloodshed happened. (the round ended right after that)

10/10 would do again


So, not exactly a long one, but it’s funny

One day on LV, I was jogging down hydro road with my rifle in hand, trying to make my way to hydro proper after the round had ended. Then, about halfway there, I see a marine who runs up to me and starts screaming at me.


Before I can even get a word out, the guy collapses in front of me and starts convulsing. I look on in horror as not 3 seconds later he fucking bursts and the larva comes out, and promptly gets lit up by myself and a smartgunner. It was still terrifying.

Ran to hydro and threw up in front of one of the medics, babbling incoherently about it.
10/10, would get traumatized again.


Survived a corpo dome hold as a CLF with A wey-Yu security guard (Kanagawa) and a Synth (Sawyer), got shipside with the cover story of being a CL with all of my weapons, walked to the CIC, stole some boots, then got a small meeting with the XO (@ShaySilverlocke), cut it off short with a simple statement of “The CLF sends it’s regards.” I proceeded to crit them with a katana before being beheaded by a lucky shot from their M44.

Overall an okay round.

1 Like

camerona stroble flashed me in the req line


a group of marines from delta squad were planning to go through west gap on green LV. as we approached it, avalache, one of the marines in the group, got pounced by a lurker. but obviously that lurker didn’t think through his actions as he instantly got surrounded by 7 marines and proceeded to get bullied with infinite amount of slugs and heavy rounds.

video link provided


REAL, dude, a few hours ago i spawned as a CLF surv. I survived the start then disguised myself as the ‘colony’s fireman’ by just wearing the firesuit and snuck aboard the ship.

I ditched my CLF uniform for boxing shorts and stole a command radio from req as i Ahelped and politely ask if i can attack the CIC as a survivor CLF, to wich an admin (Solidfury) responds to me that i can’t and i cannot even be hostile towards the marines at all because i already acted friendly towards them, i then ask him if i could re-escalate my conflict with the marines, to wich he basically told me to get fucked and dismissed me (I died 3 times as a CLF surv before reaching the ship a few hours ago).

I was fucking bummed out, but i still decided to be a shitter, but i kept my antics at MT level. First thing i did was steal the nuke codes and fax it to the general public, when no one noticed i yelled over comms about what i did, no one cared. I then walked around the hall, screaming at marines that i am a CLF, i stole the ALmayer’s nuke codes and leaked it, and that they should kill me, they didnt care either.

I kept screaming over comms and begged for an execution, but kept getting ignored, so i just started welderbombing the CIC until i got arrested and finally executed.


Before i continue i think i need to say DO NOT DO THIS.

So i was a nurse and i learned the basics of medicine. So i decide to go down into the field. I could have stayed in the fob or medbay. But i decided i was needed most on the front line just like the medics. So over the course of my play time i healed multiple marines using mostly basic chems and whatever was in my belt or bag. I even resuscitated some of them. At one point i was on the bleeding front line and the groups medic was dead. I had to go back to the ship because i had somehow gotten every bone in my body broken and gotten severe organ damage. I got heled up and went back to the front line. However a admin told me im not supposed to be on the front lines. I then went back to th ship and died because the UPP showed up and kill a bunch of people.

This was my third time playing nurse by the way. Not sure how many purple hearts and years in mp jail that would earn me.