I was never famous or anything like that. Just another Marine, but I have to admit… CM is probably the best game I’ve ever played. There were some slower operations, some more intense ones. There was one time I was playing against Chichii being Smartgunner while playing the das boot soundtrack. (we won). I don’t know exactly where I got into SS13 but I think it was around 2015, because of a video by cazum8. This is not my first, but I forgot the password of the old one and I’m going to deactivate and delete this byond account.
I have a lot of things to do and not a lot of time to play. CM was for a long time a distraction to forget the bad things in my life, but on this birthday I felt it. I had no friends, no people to talk to. The days of drinking soda, to feel happier, and distract myself with futilities to forget, have vanished. Being ostracized for so much of my life for being different, I have just lost it.
I don’t want anyone going to my discord to ask if I’m okay, I’ll manage on my own and get better. It was a waste of time, but, it was a time that I had a lot of fun, thanks to all of you.
Nothing matters anymore. Continuing to play won’t fix anything. Keep distracting me with futility won’t fix anyting. Continuing to use all of this for Cope will not change anything. It’s only going to make me older with each passing year.
I feel you. I genuinely hope you’re able to grab hold of life more tightly and be happy with what you’re doing and who you are. It’s responsible to recognize that instead of distracting yourself with CM you could be doing other things like self improvement. Just don’t ever think you’re totally alone and have no one to talk to out there. 8 Billion people on this third stone from the sun and plenty of them would be happy to talk with you about anything on your mind and be your friend. Take care I wish you the best.
There’s nothing wrong with spending some time on something you enjoy. Many people feel like they have to go ‘cold turkey’ on quitting things like CM because they are playing it too much, when they could just work towards a happy balance between CM and real life obligations instead. The name Saloth Lott does ring a bell for me. I’m not sure how much we saw each other ingame, but it must have been some amount for my bad memory to still recognize you. Anyways, I hope things get better for you, and I hope to see you around.