Howdy, I stand here today to announce the thing on EVERYONE’S MINDS. Our Military Police are becoming too proficient in their job. Just the other day I watched in horror as an MP Sergeant managed to avoid getting stripped of everything he had by using the tools given to him instead of wildly firing in a random direction with his taser. Now, of course, he had help from another Sergeant who threw a flashbang; even still, however, that constitutes a level of teamwork rarely seen in the Military Police circle. Let us think back to just six to twelve months ago to when the average MP would attempt using their taser when faced with an opponent armed with an M16, or when wardens would walk into the brig courtyard unarmed and be viciously tackled by two prisoners (thanks for the help Ace). The takeaway from all of this is that public enemy number 1 to the average squad marine is improving their skills with an advanced technique taught by Sun Tzu himself, common sense.
MT is my third most played role, so I worry the most about this stuff. I have spent my entire MT career learning how to avoid the police, I haven’t seen prison time in CM for three months and even then that was only because I turned myself in. But now I worry CMers, I worry that the MPs are getting smarter. Soon I am not sure my patented “Strip vest slot and throw smoke grenade” strategy won’t phase them. Soon, our only threat won’t just be Staff Sergeant Wood or a CE who snitches; it will be every man and every woman who belongs to the Military Police creed. Stay strong MT mains, our day will come again.
The only solution to this problem is to give the MPs their service jackets back. This is the only fix. You have 24 hours to comply with these demands before the MPs arrest every spec, smartgunner, corpsman, squad lead, IO, and doctor on the ship by the use of concerningly appropriate levels of force and the correct application of charges relative to crimes committed. Then we will mandate that all marines must wear helmets and that pilots aren’t allowed to drink while flying. It will be just like Orwell George’s book, 8419.
Be happy.
Not everyone gets a good ending in CM. You either become a jannie or get banned. Theres no inbetween. Sometimes lucky few manage to leave without any regrets… maybe someday I will manage to get a CO whitelist.. maybe someday I will put my matebea bullet into CMPs brain…
