Murphy’s Law of CM Combat
-
You are not the protagonist.
(The Lurker will still kill you.) -
If it’s stupid but works, Command will call it “tactical genius.”
(Yes, even dragging a vending machine to block a doorway.) -
Never share OT grenades with someone braver or more trigger-happy than you.
(RIP to everyone in Delta squad.) -
No plan survives the first Xeno ambush.
(Especially not the LZ defenses.) -
If your attack is going really well, there’s probably a Lurker you haven’t seen yet.
(And it’s flanking your SADAR guy.) -
The important things are always lost.
(Where’s the squad leader? Who has the SADAR ammo?) -
The simple things are always broken.
(Like cadelines or your damn comms.) -
The easy way is always sticky resin-covered.
(Enjoy getting pounced by a Lurker.) -
If you are short of everything except corpses, you’re at the FOB.
(Bonus: You’re surrounded.) -
Friendly fire isn’t friendly.
(That marine didn’t “accidentally” PB you with a shotgun.) -
If the enemy is in range, you’re about to get melted by acid.
(Better call for a Medic… if they’re not already dead.) -
Things that must work together, like grenades and timers, almost never do.
(Enjoy blowing yourself up.) -
Anything you do can get you dragged into the Hive—including doing nothing.
(Being AFK won’t save you.) -
Lurkers are predictable — until they’re not.
(If you see one, there’s two more waiting to ruin your day.) -
A well-coordinated hive is unstoppable.
(But hey, at least Delta squad tried.) -
Murphy was an SL who accidentally marked the wrong coords for OB.
(And he got dunked for it.)