The SEA Experience

My mentor/SEA experience for the day. I boot up my computer to play CM after a long day of hard labor, Kilgore convinced me to ditch education and work at a Laotian textile factory so I can save up for my retirement early, and I join in game as a SEA because I get to threaten people with latrine duty for two hours. First thing I notice is how the game marks me as a “Civilian” like my high roleplay character DIDN’T spend 22 years in the Colonial Marine Corp. I brush off the severe and harsh cyber bullying in general comms so I can get my drip (enlisted staff Officer with a really cool hat) and I make my way to my beautiful office that hasn’t been updated since the introduction of the ASO, which is fine because I get a free tarback cigar case and everybody knows tarback cigars look cooler than premium ones. After a few minutes in game I get that beautiful mentor ping noise suggesting someone just made a Mhelp, the entire time as I move my cursor slowly over I can’t help but feel giddy that I finally get to answer my first Mhelp, of course someone steals it from me almost as soon as it pops up. I tell myself its fine and keep walking around hoping for another miracle. Luckily I get one, a private by the first name of Nelson, 0 human hours overall (the perfect practice). I make my way over to greet the guy, he’s getting himself geared because luckily that’s one of the two things the tutorial teaches, the other one being how to shovel food in your mouth of course. As I speak with him it’s clear how new he is, I pour my heart and what’s left of my soul into teaching him. I came up with such wonderful phrases as “Bicar is brute med because it is like the color of blood and kelo is burn med because orange is like fire” because that’s how I learned back when CM was peak(it all went down hill after they removed RO). After I teach him all the basics of shooting at the scary bugs, and using bandages on the body parts that are bleeding I take him to the dropship Alamo and get ready to send him on his way. I hit him with the classic “Not all Marines make it home son.” and continued on my way. Now you are probably wondering what happened to this dear fellow, did he get a kill perhaps? Could he have saved a life? Maybe he even got a medal awarded to him!

No, ten minutes after I sent him on his way (for reference he was Bravo and I told him to stick with his SL) I decided to head to CIC and check on him with one of the consoles. Wouldn’t you believe it not even 15 minutes into his first deployment he already got capped, HE WAS A BRAVO RIFLEMAN! We seriously gotta give these poor suckers some hugger protection or something, imagine playing a game for the first time and just having fun before BOOM some strange alien creature headbutts you across the map and into some strange dark room where you get violated by a space crab and tied to a wall.

Overall I would say pretty fun, I’ll have platinum SEA soon enough.

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Paragraphs are a thing you should use more.

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SEA office got updated a couple of months ago

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I only knew this was acid goop when I read that someone was answering mhelps, this never happens in-game

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nah we just dont answer yours, known mentor policy

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@Grok is this true?

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something something the truth doesn’t stop for breaks,
really I was just late on my acid goop quota

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Understood man. Glad you are helping new people out. How many PVT’s have shot you?

y’know privates these days have a lot better trigger discipline, I’ve had many near misses but none have actually hit me yet.

mostly cause I make em put on the smartscope before we learn reloading

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its incredibly surprising, 0 so far. Back in my day (two whole years ago) a SEA would be lucky to make it out alive in the same room as an armed Private.

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You sir are a genius.

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