Boy-oh-boy. Me being the CL and seeing for the BrazillionTH time research making greenos and telling them that it wont work. Only for greenos to betray everyone and start killing the crew: “It sure is good that I’ve welded all of my office’s vents shut! ANYWAY, Time to fucking pod out.” (research will never learn and will repeat this scenario in two rounds)
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If you see a Swiss man in a Red Beret in Research just pod out. It will not end well.
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Jean.
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: I wake up every morning to go to a dead end job, get heckled by my coworkers, and get back home in a fit. I have an allergy so I cannot drink alcohol to get rid of this mindset. I cannot smoke. I can only spend a coulpe hours a day doing something I enjoy - shooting xenos. And yet when I hopped on today it was Trijent dam. I do not care about Trijent Dam. I do not want to “cleanse” water or “purify” the planet or some woke environmental nonsense. I wanted to shoot xenos with the only people I think will interact with me. And now it’s Trijent Dam. I’d rather play ICE COLONY than this terrible map. And it’s British so that’s great too. What a waste of a round. Hopefully tomorrow the desv realize how bad this is and set LV to be the map forever. Then maybe I can look forward to each new day. Maybe.
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i dont need a whitelist to have more notes, kills and player complaints then the rest of you F list minor community celebrities; I’ve been soft griefing this game since 2007 with my exceptional tactical prowess and i will continue to expand my empire of superior incompetence over you puny semi-regulars that do not understand that maybe construction is my real life job but colonial marines space station 13 is my fucking career; do you think this is a game? do you think each time I ready up in sub 10 minutes that I am loligagging under the pretense of some for-fun-jerkoff-athon? no, get fucking real; this is serious, this isnt some weak brained e sports garbage this is fucking warfare where people die and hard decisions are made by hard people and the weak soft serve boy scouts whimper behind cades dying anyways and spend their time making AI fanart to put in their 30th characters bio
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I think a lot of the tall problems can be traced to the single issue of them being not just allowed CONGA, but actually having a variation of CONGA as the organizational method used by their warrior castes.
While this has the obvious benefit of satisfying the fundamental need for CONGA, the tall psychological mechanism of hedonic adaptation also makes them restless and fundamentally unsatisfied with their lot, which leads to them pondering questions, which are far beyond of their limited capacity for reason.
The more advanced Xenomorph society, on the other hand, has no need for empty speculation and is brutally efficient in one goal and purpose: CONGA. But, since this purpose is fundamentally never achievable in the current structure of reality, the Xenomorph society is perfectly protected from that feeling of mental dissatisfaction that so often befalls the talls and is one of the key causes of their societal woes.
TLDR: Talls Mad!
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You ever try to fall back, but oh no, here comes some clueless PVT DIPSHIT standing there like a brick wall, completely ignoring the fact that I’m getting torn in half / melted into diarrhea / on fucking fire? You shove, they barely move. You shove again, and by the time you finally squeeze past them, you’re half dead and in crit because they’re too STUPID to MOVE!
If a CO, Spec, SG, LITERALLY ANYONE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU is backing the fuck up, that means YOU MOVE. Get your useless little ass out of the way before you get someone killed. If you want to bodyblock something, go stand in front of a XX Young Drone instead of me.
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Dear Queen,
I am writing to you to express my unwell feelings about your decision. I did not enjoy how you told me to “Hold hive” and “Stop killing talls”, as it is in my best interest to kill and capture as many tall infidels as I possibly can. The QM herself stated this as she created me:
You will hunt down your enemies. You will kill them with your claws.
Five of you will chase 100. And 100 of you will chase 10,000. You will kill your enemies with your claws.
I will look with favor on you. I will give you many children and increase your numbers. And I will keep my covenant ( the Queen) with you.
Your orders are contradicting with Queen Mothers wishes.
Best regards,
Prime Ravager XX-121
Have a CM day
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OOC: Daedalus_Helios: The mission on LV-624 was textbook—no, it was a goddamn masterclass in bug obliteration. The second the dropship slammed down, Alpha was already flanking with NATO-approved spacing, Bravo had the FOB locked down like Fort Knox, Charlie was calling out movements with SATCOM-level precision, and Delta—miraculously—not overdosing on stims. The Xenos never stood a chance. A Boiler tried to gas us—OB’d into the shadow realm. A Lurker went for a backstab—got LMG’d into a chunky salsa. A Crusher charged and got stun-locked harder than a Dark Souls boss by a lethal mix of buckshot, HEDP, and one very enthusiastic RPG Marine. Within 20 minutes, Queen dead. No “final stand,” no “epic retreat,” just pure, industrial-grade Xenocide. The Xenos got dunked on so hard that their Queen messaged our CO post-round with a simple, “y’all didn’t have to do us like that.” This wasn’t just a win; it was the Bugpocalypse. A speedrun. A military-grade ass-whooping. They won’t even add this round to t
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FUYC KYOU MARIENS FUCK YOU MARTINRE BASTARD NOOBS U WILL NOT WIN NEXT ROUND I WILL DOMINATE AND DESTROYU TOUY ALL L U AVEA ALL BEEN FUCKIGN WARNED FUYC KYOU MARIENS FUCK YOU MARTINRE BASTARD NOOBS U WILL NOT WIN NEXT ROUND I WILL DOMINATE AND DESTROYU TOUY ALL L U AVEA ALL BEEN FUCKIGN WARNED FUYC KYOU MARIENS FUCK YOU MARTINRE BASTARD NOOBS U WILL NOT WIN NEXT ROUND I WILL DOMINATE AND DESTROYU TOUY ALL L U AVEA ALL BEEN FUCKIGN WARNED
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How the fuck is this not metagaming? Seriously, why is it just accepted that random marines can beg the GL for his literal class-specific armor just so they can cheese Lurkers and Runners? That armor is designed for one thing, letting the grenade launcher guy actually survive long enough to do his job. It is not meant to be handed out like some kind of magic “fuck you” pass to any idiot who asks.
And yet, every round you see some PFC #3487 waddling around in GL armor, no grenades, no launcher, just the armor, because he knows it makes pouncing him a death sentence for any Xeno that tries. It’s so blatant, it may as well be a goddamn exploit. Lurkers and Warriors don’t just get countered by it, they get FUCKED. They pounce, they instantly eat shit.
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Whoever thought “Hey, let’s give every marine a literal I WIN BUTTON against half the Xeno cast” needs to be fired into the sun. The M41A Pulse Rifle is the most braindead, skill-less, unfair bullshit in this entire game. You mean to tell me that some dumbass motherfucker can just hold M1 on me and I’m instantly flopping around like a fucking fish as the entire marine frontline dogpiles me? How is this balanced?
This is Marine Ravager gameplay. A one-sided, unavoidable death sentence that you have zero control over. Oh, you wanna play the game? Good luck, because half your health is gone within 3 seconds. You wanna fight back? What, with the 9 trillion marines simultaneously clicking on you?
Rifleman players, before you come in here and type “just don’t get hit lol,” shut the fuck up. The M41A is a pinpoint laser rifle that fires with near-full sprint speed. If a Rifleman is actually aiming, you will get hit. Doesn’t matter if you’re dodging, doesn’t matter if you’re moving erratically. They get one shot on you, you lose. It’s literally just Marine zerker, but worse, because it doesn’t require melee range.
Taken from @americanflagmadeinch
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What do we have here? Another round of marines getting horribly bodied by the XX - 121 Xenomorphs. You know, I have a mighty theory brewing. Apperently, according to the Senior Executive (soon to be Executive Specialist) Alexander Robotov, the more hostile marines, especially command and requisitions, to the local corporate liaison, the faster they loose to xenos and the grander their fall. Even more interesting, it doesn’t work the other way around. Proceeding logically, we can conlude that this is a phenomenon of intervention by The DIVINE JOHN WEYLAND HIMSELF, or in other words - an act of God, or even more likely, wrath of God.
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Low effort acid goop post. Didn’t transcribe it into text so I can flood OOC with literal slop until the local jannie gets mad enough to mute the chat.
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I find it very interesting that on LV-522 Chance’s Claim, Round ID: 27304 that marines were holding the FOB against all odds, with grit and perseverance enabled thanks to our fantastic medics reviving everyone as soon as they die. No, that’s not the interesting part, it becomes intriguing when notorious whitelist griefer Joe Dafoe/Finn decides he is going to hop on and deploy as CO. IMMEDIATELY upon deploying he blasts a Bravo Corpsman square in the head and leaves his body behind. Three. Tiles. Outside. FOB. Instead of recovering him, he then proceeds to launch the Alamo, leaving half the marine force behind to die and rot. THEN I find it even doubly more interesting that he says he is going to “rip and tear” as hijack begins, only to die to one single spitter in maint. Alone. Now all the confused marines are left to twiddle their thumbs asking “where is the CO”. Dead in maint of course, after successfully completing his mission of crippling the marine force. Don’t think I am blind to this, "“Ugnip55"”. I’ve seen that you’ve been getting your xeno hours up, it’s clear that you have betrayed your marine roots and have decided to use the WL for the most insidious purpose - griefing marines so we can never win. I suggest you never touch CO again. Ever.
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oh my god, I can’t even begin to express how unbelievably stupid it is that the GL armor stuns xenos on pounce. like, seriously, who the fuck thought this was a good idea? I get it, you’re all about making marines feel like invincible gods, but seriously, stunning a pouncing xeno mid-leap with a goddamn piece of armor? What is this, a joke? Just put on some GL armor and enjoy your freebie stun every time a xeno tries to do their thing. You get all the rewards with none of the risks!
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There are two types of people. One is who abbreviates Weyland-Yutani as W-Y, and the deranged ass idiot psychopaths with no taste or education that say “WY” instead. Like, what the fuck? Are you a madman or something? Oh, and also the deranged lunatics that say “wey yu”. They are fucking insane and are a menace for society. I’m sweating hatred. And there are the idiots saying “WeYu”, or “WyYu”. In my executive division people like these get shanked by corporate security.
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the dumbass fucking lanterns that make you UNABLE TO FUCKING MOVE on this FUCKING MAP are the WORST THING EVER ADDED TO THIS GAME . i am not joking, i am not exaggerating, i am not coping, i am seething . who the actual hell thought it was a good idea to have a tiny piece of decor turn into a goddamn immovable wall that your xeno can get PERMA STUCK ON while trying to move 2 inches to the left. it’s always when you’re dodging fire or trying to leap and you hit the ONE lantern in a 5 mile radius and you’re just stuck there flailing like a dumbass while a PFC with an IQ of room temperature blasts you with a shotgun. DELETE THEM. DELETE THEM RIGHT NOW. THEY CONTRIBUTE NOTHING . THEY’RE JUST GOTCHA TRAPS FOR MOBILITY CASTES. REMOVE LANTERNS. REMOVE THEM ALL. I AM SO SICK OF LOSING MOVES TO A FUCKING LIGHT SOURCE.
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Let’s get straight to the point: CM is broken, and it’s broken because it’s designed with blatant marine bias. If you’ve played enough, you’ve seen it. The game is built to make marines feel like unkillable gods, while xenos get nerfed into the ground. Don’t even try to argue that the game is “balanced” because it’s not.
Marines are the heroes, the ones the game seems to bend over backward for. Marines literally get free rein to rush into a hive with minimal tactics, and STILL win because the game is designed to make sure they win, no matter how badly they screw up.
You can say it’s all about “coordination” and “teamwork,” but no, the real issue here is that marines have tools at their disposal that should never, in any sane universe, be given so freely. Mortars, orbital strikes, incendiary grenades, automated turrets, grenades that hit harder than some xenos’ full attacks, all of that is designed to push the scale in favor of the marines, even before they start acting like a horde of PvE God-Mode players.
The game is clearly designed with the idea that marines should feel powerful, and it’s done at the expense of actual fun and challenge.
Now, let’s turn our attention to the other side of the fence, xenos.
Xenos have to earn every bit of ground they take. Every pounce, every attempt to strike is often met with a guaranteed counter, whether it’s some marine popping a stim, or just the sheer overwhelming force of the marine army. One xeno might kill one marine, sure, but then he’s back nearly uninjured just 3 minutes later.
And then, after all of that, comes the “nerf after nerf” cycle. Every time a xeno caste starts getting a little bit of traction or starts becoming even remotely useful, it gets gutted by the devs. Take lurkers, for example. You nerf their health, then you nerf their damage, then you nerf their utility until they’re reduced to glorified speed bumps for marines. Don’t even get me started on how often those nerfs are applied after one week of marines getting annoyed that a xeno caste is “too strong” (and by too strong, they mean they got killed once).
I’m not saying playing as a marine is easy. It takes coordination, communication, and a team that knows what they’re doing. But let’s be real here: marines are not ever in a position where they’re truly struggling. When’s the last time you saw a marine squad wipe without them doing a major mistake? It doesn’t happen unless they’re literally doing the dumbest possible thing imaginable.
There’s no way around it, CM is designed to make marines feel powerful. The mechanics are stacked in their favor, and it’s obvious every time you get into a round. Yes, we’ve all had our fun playing as marines, but it’s become clear that the devs have slowly shifted the game to make sure that no matter what happens, the marines will win the majority of the time.
Xenos, on the other hand, have to fight against a system rigged to keep them at a disadvantage. And when they actually do win, it’s often because the marines made so many mistakes that even the dumbest hive mind could take advantage of it.
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