Hate people who play the game just to rp and have fun. They don’t care about unga or killing the shit out of other players.
Look, if you guys just play the game to emote things, play D&D or something. Actually building FOB, listening to orders, writing flowery emotes, and sitting in the back for 50 minutes isn’t fun for anyone. Except for shipside roles, of course, because they are bored as fuck.
I am seriously considering cryoing every time we will have LZ2 FOB on LV, it seems that normal persons with at least 1% of their grey matter active do not perform this maneuvre. Every, fucking every time we are setting FOB on LZ2 on LV we are being smaked in hydro cluterfuck and ravaged as bitches, every time all orders after lz2 FOB are more like screams of a madmen, every time shit is unleashed.also medbay was fucking joke, I spent 10 minutes to be just noticed, 1 doctor did not evne know what surgery is and was an addition to autosurgery, CMO shitting somwhere with rookies, chemist do not give a fuck on everyone, only 1 mate was actually WORKING. Tl;dr, XO/CMO must be jobbaned, CO unwhitelisted
“How bout i take my motherfucking marinecord, chase you down in the middle of the motherfuckin hall, you see a bunch of us in black ponchos, you see me in a gold poncho, big, tall, muscular, CHUNGUS looking motherfucker, running at you. First i start off like this cause i dont need my whole speed to catch you, then i see you take your armor off to speed up, then i start speeding, then i just go and just signal my whole marinecord and they’re just chasing you, running at you like roonys in black capes, they disarm spam you.”
“This is you right? This is me, i TACKLE you, aggro grab you, i call over the Charloid, signal him, Charloid comes from behind you, i have my ALL marinecord cloaks ripping off your clothes you’re ass naked in the halls, STUCK like this, just STUCK and im cuffin you down and i’m like CHARLOID, i make the snap, Charloid pulls out his m37 junior, loads it with buckshot, target groin and press Harm intent while all my marinecord cloaks aggro grabs you as he FORCEFULLY PBs YOU, ODs you on oxy and just HUMILIATE YOU, while i command my whole marinecord to /me tbag you, leaving your ass naked body freezing in the hall, SUCK MY DICK, bitchass redcap.”
You know they say all marines are created equal, but you look at me and you look at the bravo and you see that statement is not true! See normally if you go one on one with another marine you got a fifty-fifty chance of winning. But I’m a genetic freak and I’m not normal, so you got a 25% chance at best at beat me! And then you add the charlie to the mix, you chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3-way at brief, you got a 33 and 1/3rd chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3rd chance of winning cause he KNOWS he can’t beat me; and he’s not even gonna try! So bravo take your 33 and 1/3rd chance of winning, minus my 25% chance, and you got an 8 and 1/3rd chance of winning at briefing. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 and 2/3rds percent’s, I got a 141 and 2/3rds chance of winning at briefing! Bravo, the numbers don’t lie. and they spell disaster for you, at briefing.
Hello queen, as you know I am indeed requesting evolution to Warrior.
Reason(s):
For one thing, I’m cracked at ss13 and I can sprite click very well (this relates to lunging) I also play POTEMKIN in GUILTY GEAR : STRIVE so I am experienced in grappling playstyles and poking.
Supplementary Content:
If you look in hive right now, you will notice not 1, but TWO captured marines. Indeed the rumors are true. I HAVE CAPTURED THESE MARINES For you see, if this is not enough I also have recommendations from reputable players like Prime Lurker SCU and TKO (They said no for a joke but he DM’d me yes) If I can capture TWO marines as a T1 imagine what I can do with actual stuns…
Design:
If I evolve, I will get a very cool sprite and if this is not enough I will put this in LOOC upon encountering a marine (so they know how cool and scary and large my sprite is!!!)
jpeg.jpg
(sorry for the low quality I’m maxing out my brazillian internet connection)
Conclusion:
I’m cracked, I’m a jaded old player, I’m very cool and funny (while still being immersive and hiveminded + warrior has a big cool sprite and i got 2 caps for hive (3 at the time of typing this I just tail swiped a marine) and I love the queen so much she is so fjucking cool shes like the size of 50 cars and she healed me when i was crit in hydro
please fellow xeno players +1 me i cant go back o steelcresting it will ruin me
I have much words to say, but no strenght to do so. It will be short. Remember my copypaste about engineers who must hang themselves to erase their degenerative genes from humanity genepool? Drop it. Engineers were outstanding and must be carved in stone. Center nexus cading tactic worked good as usual, we hold it for more then 2 minutes! Best part was about cades in opposite side of attack east of it. Also, unwired cades on LZ1 prooven to be very effective, and being not connected to DS1 doors allow one crusher lead himeslf to it’s death - longsighted planning as it is. Command who did not order to defend hydro road cunnigly predicted we will leave hydro, which was not caded at least at half (another smart tactic), and what was caded mostly did not had wires. On last of this short panegeric - my pleasure to naders, killing all defenders by yourself relieve them from being humilated by aliens. Keep it up, bois! Nice job everyone!
LV-624 Pasta
; HYDRO ROAD NOT SECURE
; HELP
; i’m being dragged off by a red dog now. You all suck.
Marines, officers, and civilians. Good morning I hope your night and days since arriving here have been pleasant under the watchful eye of our AI ARES. In case you are suffering from cryosickness allow me to remind you lot of the chain of command here. My name is Colonel Greg Lauffer, military veteran and hero. So famous in fact that I have been dubbed the Miracle of Sol due to my heroics during the Sol Campaign and since my arrival out here in the outer-colonies due to the war on insurgency started many years ago. U hold 91 different medals of heroism ranging from saving lives in the field to commanding strategically and routing enemy forces in brilliant manuevers. I’ve written several known books in a series I dubbed ‘The Art of Strategy’ which a movie adaption also will be coming out for. I can assure you of this, there is no officer in the USCM more qualified to lead you then myself.
Honestly prison SHOULD probably be the most stable map in Colonial Marines. I mean the game is called SPACE STATION (13) SO HOW THE FUCK COME THAT THE DEVS MANAGE TO FUCK UP THE ONLY MAP IN COLONIAL MARINES THAT IS ACTUALLY A SPACE STATION? HUH? HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE? EVERY OTHER SERVER CAN DO SPACE STATIONS IN SPACE STATION 13 JUST FINE WITHOUT THE SERVER CRASHING BUT COLONIAL MARINES SERVER JUST SHITS THE BED EVERYTIME. CM DEVS HONESTLY JUST NEED TO UNINSTALL BYOND
DEAD: Elder Defender (132) says, “if you’re in CM for the “gameplay” you’re in the wrong place”
DEAD: Elder Defender (132) says, “yeah this is Tex”
Bill Carson I was your XO. My advice is: 1 we are leaving in 20 seconds announcements is not great, because most marines can’t react in time to board. Instead try ‘we are leaving in 2 minutes’ and then we are leaving in 1 minute’. That allows enough time for marines to disengage from the frontline and actually get on the ship. Multiple times that round there were CIC announcements that left no room for marines to actually board the DS before it left, in many cases leaving marines behind in hopeless situations, or stranding a dozen marines on the launch pad meters from the DS doors. 2 don’t force the CiC staff to the ground. Some CiC staff are just not that good on the field - they’re more useful in CiC. At the very least if you are going to order them to deploy against their wishes/skills, then don’t hussle them with MPs. Allow them enough time to actually gear up with armor and a weapon, ideally tac binocs too. Otherwise you’re putting them out there with no gun, no armor and no hope.
Total_Epicness5: I’LL PLAY ZOMBOID IF I WANT ZOMBIES MF, GUESS US A HIT OF THAT GENUINE CM EXPERIENCE, THAT NEEDLE OF COPE, I NEED A SCREEN LONG WARRIOR LUNGE TO RUIN MY DAY, I DON’T WANT NO “”““RP””“” EVENT WHERE I GET SLASHED ONCE AND THEN RAPED BY SLOWDOWN LIKE A SIDE CHARACTER, I NEED TO BE THE PROTAG, I need to frag!!!
PUSH PUUUSH PUUUSH
PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUSH!!! !!! !!! !!! !!!
PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH
PUUUUSH HOLY FUCK
PUSHABLE AY EFF!!
QUEEN PUSHABLE
PUUUSH SL!!
KILLABLE!!!
I JUST SNORTED A PILE OF COKE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!
PUSHABLER!!
THEY’RE ROUTED!!!
FOB IS UNDER SIEGE BY QUEEN
PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!
QUEEN IS ON THE FOB BREATHING DOWN OUR FUCKING NECKS
QUEEN DEAD
QUEEN DEAD
QUEEN DEAD PUUUUSH!!!
NEW QUEEN
QUEEN DEAD
[16:17:59]ANNOUNCEMENT: ***** has announced the following: All regards from one Joey ‘Nimrod’ Capone should be regarded as false information including commands by them. Doing so will put you at risk as well as risking death to occur to you
Schizophrenic anti delta pasta
you are worst deltard. you are the deltard idiot you are the deltard smell. return to sulaco. to our sulaco cousins you may come our ship. you may live in the brig….ahahahaha ,delta we will never forgeve you. deltard rascal FUck but fuck asshole deltard stink sulaco sulaco shitlaco,.delta squad wipe best day of my life. take a bath of dead delta…ahahahahahDELTA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget LV-624 .sulaco we kill the CO , sulaco return to your precious junkyard….hahahahaha idiot deltard and alpha smell so bad…wow i can smell it. REMOVE DELTA FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. charlie+usa+bravo+echo=kill delta…you will die/ bill carson alive in uscm, bill carson making album of uscm . fast rap bill carson uscm. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of bill carson… you are ppoor stink deltard… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a foxhole
I own a boiler for hive defence, since that’s what the queen mother intended. Four ruffians break into my hive. “what the devil?” as I grab by xeno fruit and elder spitter. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. draw my sentinel on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s young and nails the capped marine. I have to resort to the boiler mounted on top of the hive loaded with neurotoxin, “tall ho ladies” the neurotoxins melts two men in the blast, the smell of bone shrapnel causing them to scream. Screech and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting for a medivac since bone shrapnel is impossible to remove. Just as queen mother intended.
So. You beat the CM demo. Not bad, marine, not bad at all. But are you ready to take the next step?! In the full version of CM, you’ll find additional factions like xenos, UPP, and CLF: powerful, new human and xeno weapons; a co-op 150-player campaign spanning nine massive indoor and outdoor environments; and support for intense multiplayer battles with up to two hundred of your friends! … Or enemies. All that wrapped up in an epic sci-fi story that’s so freaky, it makes me shake just thinkin’ about it. Space Station 13: Colonial Marines. Play one round! Heck, play two, completely free. That’s an order, marine!
WE WILL SECURE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS STATION. WE WILL SECURE THE LIEUTENANT COLONEL OVER THERE. WE WILL SECURE THE FARMERS DAUGHTER.
MPcord mad, they deleted the Total MP Death copypasta and Total MP Life copypasta
Imagine killing 6 with a cluster OB and not pushing after. truly HPR warriors. my HPR warriors. so fucking braindead. i love them. i love my HPR warriors. love when they get grabbed by the 6 Warriors. I love when one gets grabbed, and the other HPR warrior walks up the same way the previous HPR warrior walked up to the warrior hidey hole like that last one did and then the warrior grabs the HPR warrior and he dies and then ANOTHER HPR WARRIOR SEES THAT AND DECIDED “OH MAYBE IT’LL BE DIFFERENT WHEN I DO IT” AND THEN HE WALKS UP LIKE A BRAVE LITTLE HPR WARRIOR AND GOES “PEW PEW PEW” AND THEN A WARRIOR GRABS HIM AND THROWS HIM ONTO THE MOUNTING FUCKING CORPSE PILE THAT NOW DECORATES THE FLOOR OF THE HIVE AND ASJUHGFAHGVFJWQ
~Nina ‘Salt’ Steiner (@LoveShacker)
