Own a mateba auto-revolver for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four CLF break into my CIC. “What the devil?” As I grab my command tablet and comically large revolver. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my mateba on the second man, miss him entirely because it is snub nosed and nails the Working Joe. I have to resort to the M46C mounted in my suit slot with incendiary loaded, “Tally ho lads” the incendiary rounds incinerates two men in the hail of bullets, the extra rounds kill a runner 28 tiles away. Draw mateba once more and open fire on the last terrified terrorist. He Bleeds out waiting on the military police to arrive since battlefield executions are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
OOC: !Hahasohappy: 2 the black pred that perma stunned me instead of fighting me for your smartdisc after i beat yo ass like 10 times I hope u know that U made me log o nto league of legends and play it today
SO TRUE they permanently job banned me for doing a vehicle crewman union strike and accidentally spacing the apc one round even though i always trapped plenty of t3’s and even queens to their death as driver. The role is usually taken by NOOBS who dont even know to block. Anyway here are some of my favorite Cheng Chan copypastas:
Ni hao, Men! This is Private First Class Cheng Chan a chinese master who became famous of United States Colonial Marines because of his combat skills and speech. In our Buddhist temple, we learn the 5 virtues of Buddhism and that is wisdom, kindness, patience, generosity and compassion. Specifically,all Buddhists live by five moral precepts, which prohibit: Killing living things. Taking what is not given. I was force to serve in People Liberation Army because the Government doesnt allow religious practice anymore including Catholism, Buddhism or any religous. If I don’t serve the People Liberation Army they would cut my head. Why am I famous from this ship? I earned it. I worked hard it. Great Chief Wamakahana Windhealer would increase my salary into 100k per month if I will work here from this ship. I’m not using my money for my own self, its for the people for those in need in China. My dream goal is to become the President of China so no more sufferings, peace, and freedom. The reason I am still here be.
Ni hao. This is Cheng X. Chan from the Republic of China. A former Marine in People’s Liberation Army Marine Corps (PLAMC) now serving United States of Colonial Marines. The People Liberation Army motto is Serve the People. I will obey high ranks! As a Chinese, I will protect my homeland and the United States of America and show no mercy from my enemies! It is better to die than live like a coward. If you wish to live, don’t go near. If you wish to die and fight as a warrior, join me. The motto of a Marine is “We never retreat and we never surrender!” Captain Windhealer recruit me in People Liberation Army since I have a good skills in combat zone. Cheng, reporting for duty!
Stalkerino, if you’re here. Try to make it less obvious you metacomm. I arrest you for assaulting a doctor with a chair and 4 delta appear just out of thin air and wordlessly intervene
I absolutely FUCKING hate MARINES I am FUMING with ANGER, the MERE THOUGHT of THEM SENDS ME INTO AN UNBRIDEDELD RAGE. They are so MENTALLY IMPAIRED they WATCH A SPITTER MELT THE CADELINE I BUILT and REFUSE TO SHOOT IT. This SHEER INCOMPETENCY EXTENDS into COMMAND, who REFUSED to COMMUNICATE that south FOB needed bodies to watch it. I have NEVER had an XO WORSE than decker and I will -1 their future CO app. This DOES NOT EXCUSE THE IDIOCY OF MEDICS WHO WILL WATCH SOMEONE GET POUNCED AND KILLED AND DRAG THEM 8 TILES AWAY, STILL IN THE OPEN TO REVIVE THEM. FUCK I HATE MARINES!!!
cant believe the best CM copy pasta hasn’t been posted yet
You get home after a long day of work at McDonalds, you walk into your apartment Your wife’s boyfriend says ‘hello’. You ignore him You make your way to the closest (your room). Your wife’s son kicks you in the knee, causing you to fall. Your proceed to crawl to your room (closet), you manage to pull yourself into your ‘gamer’ chair, you click on Byond CM 13 and load in "I finally have control, I can be CMP… daddy is home
I’ll have you know, I am a well-known and respected member of this community. I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself God, but I’m pretty close to it. I personally know many members of staff and have been part of this community for many, many years - my word carries a lot of weight. You have severely fucked up with your decisions and actions, and now I am forced to leverage my vast reputation and my numerous connections to ensure that you are both removed from this community and ostracized in various other communities in which you share with my (many) friends within this community. You should’ve known better than to do what you did, but you didn’t, and now, you reap what you sew. Tough luck, kid.
Oh would you look at that! Yet another Chance’s Claim marine wipe!! You know why they fucking call it Chance’s Claim? Cause no one can claim there is a CHANCE IN HELL of marines EVER pulling a victory on this fucking shitty map. Oh boy I can’t wait for marines to bumblefuck their way in a straight line toward the hive area only to run into THE ABSOLUTE MAZE OF LABRYNTHS AND CORRIDORS THAT LAY ALMOST EVERY OTHER TILE OF THIS DAMN MAP and even if SOMEHOW marines don’t get wiped just attempting to go through that shit guess what fucko XENOS WILL JUST FLANK FROM THE BAJILLION DIRECTIONS THEY CAN FLANK FROM AND MURDER THE MARINES ANYWAY! Don’t even bother trying to build a decent FOB either there are so many goddamn openings it makes swiss cheese look solid. I bet the fucking “dev” that made this map is roaring over the chaos he is caused hissing and spitting acid like the damn xeno agent they fucking are. Fuck this map and fuck the xeno agent that made it.
How about you shoot the predator and quit complaining about them in the same sense that you got lurker pounced and now you want lurkers to never pounce you again. Predators do not have to account for your enjoyment, as interactions with them will usually lead to them attacking you. They can set up scenarios, RP, etc but most of the time people won’t reciprocate and will silently walk away without ever taking their gun out then run off to say “fucking pred shitters” in dchat or elsewhere when the pred kills and beheads them. There are already rules in place to keep preds in check, it’s called the honor code. If you read it you’ll see that predators don’t attack everybody and everyone for no reason, it’s because you fit the criteria of being huntable. Preds have already been rebalanced with a merged PR that allows for even a basic marine to do damage to predators, along with my own pr being merged that brought back pred bone breaks. So there’s no real excuse about them being entirely unkillable, it’s just difficult.
Nearly all the complaints in this PR is just incessant whining about them being killed in a game where all the factions are killing each other. Xenos, marines, but why are predators treated separately? Just because they’re a side faction doesn’t mean they cannot affect your round. By design they are antagonists, so you as a marine or xeno should treat them as such either through RP or just shooting them. But instead of doing this people would rather drop their guns, not shoot, etc and act in such a LRP manner when faced against a predator in a pity show to make the predator look bad. Preds wouldn’t be complained about much if people actively decided to be hostile to them, instead of the passive “I know you exist but I don’t care I just want to press M1 in xeno direction” interactions that just leads to more apathy and hate for the pred wl by people that don’t even interact with preds.
I second that opinion, nobody ever complaints because three runners stunlock and nest you in half a minute without you being able to do much against them. Predators, when proven hostile, should be attacked, not the LRP Announcement “Do not fucking kill the humanoids, they will kill you”. I don’t think a marine commander would declare the strange thing that just killed five marines forbidden to attack.
i wrote this copy pasta almost two years ago and i’m happy it’s still making the rounds
here’s the entire thing from my sticky notes that never saw the light of day because of byond character count limits
you are worst deltard. you are the deltard idiot you are the deltard smell. return to sulaco. to our sulaco cousins you may come our ship. you may live in the brig….ahahahaha ,delta we will never forgeve you. deltard rascal FUck but fuck asshole deltard stink sulaco sulaco shitlaco.delta squad wipe best day of my life. take a bath of dead delta…ahahahahahDELTA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget LV-624 .sulaco we kill the CO , sulaco return to your precious junkyard….hahahahaha idiot deltard and alpha smell so bad…wow i can smell it. REMOVE DELTA FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. charlie+usa+bravo+echo=kill delta…you will die/ bill carson alive in uscm, bill carson making album of uscm . fast rap bill carson uscm. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of bill carson… you are ppoor stink deltard… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a foxhole bill carson alive numbr one #1 in almayer….fuck the deltard ,…FUCKk ashol deltard no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur color and squad. billcarson aliv and real strong wizard kill all the delta farm aminal with rap magic now we the almayer rule .ape of the zoo presidant georg bush fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and delta wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. bravo greattst squad
Delta Pride World Wide. We Dare to be Stupid. Dare To Be Stupid (live) - "Weird Al" Yankovic - YouTube
Grape pride, lynch the deltards!
Person had this earmarked the second OOC chat was enabled.
THIS OPERATION WAS CURSED FROM THE BEGGINING, NO DROPSHIP CHIEF, NEGLECTION ON ALAMO, COMMAND NOT CARING, MARINES UNGA AND MORE LYNCHIED PO AND LAUNCHED WITHOUT PO’s AND COMMAND ORDERS, NOW THAT IS A FUCKED OP! THANKS MARINES AND INCOMPETENT COMTECHS FOR NOT CADING UP RIGHT FOB! THANK YOU! ONE THING, BILLY IO YOU ARE THE WORST HUMANE THAT LAUNCHED ALAMO WITHOUT THE UPGRADES!"
That is your typical round. Adapt or Die. Or get on the floor and Walk the Dinosaur.
Marines, I feel it is my duty to inform you all that is in fact, not my first trip to LV-624. Seven years ago I was apart of a special operations wing, a shadow unit that ‘technically’ didn’t exist. We were a secret funded wing of MARSOC. We were sent in to disperse the colony due to uprising. I killed nearly 400, I can say with solace every single man woman and child had a weapon in hand. They were active combatents and I had no choice. However, there was one who I spared. They begged for their life and I couldn’t bring myself to do it, they reminded me of my son. However, after we left I received reports he became governor of the colony later on and has been rumored to have been in contact with the CLF. I am sorry, this is my fault. I will not hesitate to shoot next time
Fresh off the presses boys!
“Before we lose comms, Fuck you XO for being a pretentious cunt, fuck you CMP for wasting time on some guy instead of searching for burrower, and fuck you MW cause why not. CO, Wolfram, much love for you two for being competent. And fuck you frank.”
FOR REALISM WE NEED TO ADD LATRINES TO THE FOB, If a marin eats Three MREs he should have to take a hearty shit! So now with the tents, we can have latrines too, giving bravors their ultimate role play duty ever!!! Think of this as a HRP addition. Not only will bravo have to dig a latrine, but every now and then when its full they will have to pour diesel in it and burn it off! JUST LIKE IN AFGHANISTAN!!! We can even add in toxin debuffs from breathing in the smoke to really give this a high role play value! Think of how realistic it will feel as a marine to die on the front, eat an MRE, have to go to fob, and then fall into a burning latrine!
dude you know what its like, its like im sitting here in the morning infront of this monitor while 2 persons here are talking about sleeping with my mother and have to withstand this and gaslight myself into thinking that all the good things i say are bad in order to not get banned, its like i say that your mother should get beaten by 7 dudes in game, right? but then you have to morally judge me and tell me ‘that is not the same dude waa’ but my brother in christ its like you are wishing me the worst and praying for my downfall every single time so i have to withstand the barrage of insults i have in my mind right now in order to not be reported irl and or banned in this community