First, they came for the Maintenance Technicians, and I did not speak out-
Because I was not a Maintenance Technician.
Then they came for the Cargo Technicians, and I did not speak out-
Because I was not a Cargo Technician.
Then they came for the PFCs, and I did not speak out-
Because I was not a PFC.
Then they came for me-and there was no one left to speak for me.
4 Likes
devs will do some stupid ass shit that just hampers the fun of the game, and then say no to shit claiming it doesnt fit the lore, and then add a feature that is compeltely opposite of the lore, usually tha makes the game way less fun to play, and then marines will have a QOL thing they do, and that has to be removed because reasons, all the while adding meta retard roles and abilities to shit like synth and pred, so they can ERP in discord chat while violating marine corpses without even having to worry about dying or being out of the game perma (synth), and then they will shit all over you if you go on github and reply to a pull request and say you think it will make the game worse, all the while they remove discussions about features from discord and the forums left and right. and god forbid if one of them has their xeno/marine main get killed ina funny way because you can expect that to get nerfed the very next day, just like shotgun juggling and warrior lunge
6 Likes
I’m SICK and TIRED of TROGLADYTE dropship pilots who don’t even ATTEMPT to read the guide, and think they’re the coolest person ever after direct firing without a laser detector, wiping the front with six minis, and they don’t even have the GAL
to apologize afterwards. I want this to END.
It’s honestly comical how terrible pilots have gotten, so much so that I refuse to call them in unless they have a silver medal or above. It makes absolutely no sense how pilots only need five hours as a marine to have the power to kill fifteen marines with one napalm. By making it two DCC hours, you give them a chance to learn how to fly, and also get tips from experienced pilots.
I honestly believe that the reason marine winrate is so low is because of the sheer incompetence shown by command slots and fire support-ists, and by making the hours needed higher, HOPEFULLY marines can actually use fire support without fear of the person faltering and killing everyone.
5 Likes
Falcons
Please DO NOT announce to the Almayer when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a ship full of mostly male marines would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don’t want to add this to standard operating procedure, since it would be embarrassing for new recruits to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on. If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of military police. Thanks.
Captain A.J. Acosta
7 Likes
DEAD: Prime Lurker (DMT-202) (F) says, "Vu Thuc Quyen, you’re either using autoaimer or a completely cheesed out gamma with brightness set to max. That on top of your utterly broken gun. Good work, very skilled and immersive gaming have going there but even maxed out gamma would hardly explain how you did not miss a single shot on me when I was invisible on weeds, trying to dodge and pouncing all the while you were jerking around the screen man, this game, the hilarious combination of the absolutely ridiculous broken shit on marine side with the retarded and / or mentally ill no-life toxic playerbase is really something else. anyway, get a life retards. what a complete shithole
7 Likes
This has to be one of my best works. DMT was raging in dead chat to the guy hes talking about for like twenty minutes, and i just started copyin the most seethin sentences he posted into one big paragraph and it reads just like a long winded rant, which it was.
1 Like
This server has been up for over 10 years. If the marines don’t have teamwork by now, they never, EVER will. Stop asking for teamwork that will NEVER come and INSTEAD design the game around the actual skill level of the players
2 Likes
XENODEVS ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE, THEY’RE IN THE WALLS, I KNOW THEY ARE. EVERY SINGLE PR INCLUDES HIDDEN INCREMENTAL STAT DEBUFFS PERFECTLY DESIGNED TO WEAKEN THE ENTIRETY OF THE CO PLAYERBASE. THE ENTIRE DEV TEAM HAS BEEN BOUGHT OFF BY THE ELITE XENO MAIN METACORD, SEGRAIN, FRANS, AND FOREST HAVE ALL RECIEVED THOUSANDS OF XENOCOINS AND SPEC TOKENS FOR THEIR LOYALTY IN THIS BATTLE. MORROW’S REMOVAL WAS PART OF A XENO-MASONIC RITUAL KNOWN AS THE KILLING OF THE KING DESIGNED TO BRING MARINE WIN RATES DOWN EVEN FURTHER. HARRY IS COMING FOR ME AS I RIGHT THIS, HE IS CURRENTLY OUTSIDE MY DOOR. DO NOT LET MY DEATH BE IN VAIN CO MAINS, FIGHT TO THE LAST BREATH AGAINST THE TYRANNY OF XENODEVS.
1 Like
COLONIAL MARINES 13 2025 MAP ROTATION:
8 votes - Huángdì De Xīngqiú (皇帝的星球)
6 votes - Yautja Prime
14 votes - Chiraq
4 Likes
HRP. Every hour in a CM round is actually equivalent to like…2 hours actually in universe.
Also we need to add a fatigue and day-night cycle. When would the latter be used?
Oh that’s simple. We are bringing back 8 hour rounds guys
Look alive xeno mains and vice versa. On some maps you have 4 hours before the sun rises…or sets.
1 Like
I’m a pioneer, I’m an explorer, I’m a xenomorph, and I’m coming!
I’m animated, I’m alive, my heart’s big!
It’s got hot acid blood, going through it fast!
I like to fight too!
I like to place eggs!
I like to beat larva!
I’m here!
I’ve got a life force!
This is a xenomorph, this is what we look like!
This is what we act like!
This is what the hive was like before us.
This is what I am, I’m a throwback.
I’m here!
I’ve got the fire of the xenomorph hivemind!
I’m spreading resin everywhere!
And marines are falling dead everywhere!
2 Likes
Damn I wonder what awesome person coulda cooked up this one? Alas, the world will never know.
Also:
I only lose to metatargeting xeno ultrasweat UAV metacords who spend 25 hours of every single day plotting out every single movement I make. I can’t set one single foot on the LV624 colony without instant pings going out to the entire xenomorph playerbase through their disgusting discord hive mind. Ive just filed my 10 millionth player report for RDM on xx-123-fuck yaself, expect a ban shortly kiddo
YOU ARE OUT OF REGS, MAJOR! WHERE IS YOUR M46C PULSE RIFLE?
DON’T HAVE ONE?
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, MAGGOT?
THE TRUTH IS YOU LOST AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF MARINE-ISSUE EQUIPMENT.
THAT RIFLE IS GOING TO COME OUT OF YOUR PAY, AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MAN’S CORPS UNTIL YOU ARE FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR THE ARMAT M46C PULSE RIFLE SYSTEM YOU HAVE LOST!
REPORT TO THE ARMORY AND HAVE A NEW RIFLE ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, MAJOR!
DISMISSED!
3 Likes
The end times have come. CM was never meant to handle so many people. There won’t be enough bytes to go around. Soon, byte rationing will be introduced. Each and every CM player must sustain themselves on their server-mandated byte ration, enough to give them 10 FPS at best. That is, of course, except for the super-rich, who will offer to “finance” the server in exchange for increasingly larger control of the server and its bytes. Soon, the super-rich will effectively control the entire server, as the admins are forced to listen to their beck and call, or lose out on their desperately-needed funds. And once the super-rich control the server, they will force CM players to play constant WO rounds, day-in, day-out for their own sadistic pleasure. The only relief we will get is from the occasional infection match, which, after generations of trauma, we will come to see as a gift and holy salvation from our benevolent rulers. Blind to their despotic rule and abuses, we may even come to thank them for “lifting” CM out of its humble origins and onto the world stage. That’s right. It doesn’t end with just us. Using their money to advertise the game, the super-rich will spread their perversion of CM onto a global audience, and trap millions, if not, billions, into their web of lies and deceit.
No matter how much we complain, no matter how much we protest, and no matter what we do, we cannot prevent the inevitable. Dark times are ahead of us. Dark times indeed.
3 Likes
Is it true that we will have to ration bits as well in two years?
2 Likes
Of course I understand that xenos players are pussies.But I sincerely do not like that when a drawer opens or you are spat out of your belly-there is enough time for even a defender to be able to feed you.What’s the joke?You’ve been swallowed and you’re not even able to do anything anymore?
1 Like
Cut the salt out in deadchat, alright? If you lost the game, you played the game wrong, its that simple, you played wrong. You used that strategy, your team screwed up. If thats- if you lost, thats why. The other team did better than you, alright, so stop being so damn salty, stop saying “oOh the marines yo- how come the marines instantly win shipside?” Or “How come the xenos stunspam me so much” alright, it doesnt matter. I see it on both teams, I see it all the time in deadchat everyone being a little bitch when they die. Stop it. Just stop. Play the game normally. Stop getting upset when you die, and just do better next time. There is no excuse.
6 Likes
As John steps in the door after his 14-hour long shift at “McCuckers”, he lets out a long sigh. Time for the usual. His son comes barreling towards his arms, and for a second, John thinks to himself that his son has finally come to give his old man a great big hug. What comes next is a sense of searing pain in his nether region as his son kicks him right in the nuts. He falls to the ground, yet his face retains the same dull and lifeless look it’s had for the past decade.
While crawling to his bedroom door, John is greeted by a burly man nearly 20 years younger than he, with his wife’s bedroom door wide open behind him. John ignores him, as he hasn’t the patience to learn how many men his wife laid today. He had bigger, better ambitions. Once he finally limps his way to his room, he forces his limb corpse of a body up onto his $1000 gamer chair. His eyes widen as they meet his computer screen.
“Welcome,
John Marston
XX-645”
“Join the USCM!”
“Military Police (0) (Active: 0)”
“Finally,” he says to himself, “It’s good to be King.”
9 Likes
I’m smoking Almayer Windhealer Ice Dark Blood pack, they watered this with the blood of 36 Ravangers, shit’s so green it should be asking me “where’s Dutch” , this shit will turn your SG Pack off, Cluster OB levels of sour, Lung slaughtering Predalien Kush, this shit’s got eggs on it so you know the THC to CBD ratio is fucking swag, a whiff of this shit? yeah this that nefarious evil Predalien moon crass, this shit straight outta Engi, this shit is what killed Haar, Rest in peace.
4 Likes
This post was totally not sponsored by the benomain union.
3 Likes
First, they came for the X word, and i didn’t speak out, as i was not an x word sayer.
Then they came for the Gimmick CO’s, and i did not speak out, as i was not whitelisted,
Then they came for the Req gunners, and i did not speak out, as i was not a req gunner.
Then they came for the Vehicles, and i did not speak out, as i was not a tank or APC driver.
Then they came for the D word, and there was no one left to speak out for me.
10 Likes